Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Toddler Who Bites | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
I am a stay-at-home mom with a 1-1/2-year-old son who bites. I have tried timeouts, "no"s," etc. He bit five children at the church daycare center today and frequently bites his older brother and me. The preschool teachers have suggested that an effective cure would be to bite him back. What should I do?!?
— Laurie in Plano, TX | | | ANSWER |
October 25, 2000 | | | Dear Laurie,
As I'm sure you already suspect, the "bite back" cure is a bad idea. Children learn most by watching what adults do. This goes double for very young children. So if you say biting is wrong, but you bite, you probably will confuse your child.
It's better to try to stop the biting before it starts. First, notice when it tends to happen: Is it when your child is tired, when he's going after a toy, when he's frustrated for some reason?
Second, with a very young child, chances are that there is always a grownup within arm's reach, so inform his other caregivers of your observations. You and the other grownups can keep a sharp eye out and step in to prevent the biting before it happens. The most effective response has two parts: First, say "No biting" in a stern voice (without yelling). Second, simply move the child away from the other children. If he goes right back and tries to bite again, simply repeat these steps. If he does it again, say goodbye and leave. In time (it may be weeks or months), he will get the message that biting ends the play, and that you don't like it.
If he tries to bite you, say "No biting," and give him a timeout in a playpen or crib for a minute or two. During that time, pay no attention to him at all. As soon as the time is over, pick him up and do something fun together. If he tries to bite again, do the same thing. If you are consistent and firm, he'll soon get the message.
You can learn more about biting, including why young children do it and what you can do to help, in the articles on aggression in the Behavior & Development section of our website.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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