Ask Our Expert - Not Happy About the Stork

September 08, 2008

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Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.


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Ask Dr. Needlman Not Happy About the Stork

QUESTION


Dear Dr. Needlman, An acquaintance has a nine-year-old son and she is two months' pregnant. Her son is NOT happy about a new sibling. What can I tell her to do or say to help the process? — Concerned in Athens, TN

ANSWER	October 11, 2000


Dear Concerned, The first step in dealing with a child's negative response about a new sister or brother is to find out what is really bothering him. It could be something very specific (such as worrying about who will take him to baseball practice), or it could be a more general concern (like his parents won't love him as much anymore). Your friend needs to have a heart-to-heart talk with her son. He's old enough to explain some of his feelings and help devise a concrete plan to make sure that his needs are met after the baby comes. Just knowing that there is a plan should help him feel more accepting towards the family's new addition. And the fact that his mom made a special effort to pay attention to his feelings also will prove reassuring. — by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.

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