Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Smearing Feces at 21 Months | | | QUESTION | | | | I have two sets of twins (ages 12 months and 21 months). One of my 21-month-old daughters is biting her siblings and smearing feces on her sister, her crib, and walls. I have tried taping her diaper but she reaches inside to access the feces. I am at a loss as to how to contain the problem. The fecal smearing is happening daily. I am very busy and exhausted. Please help me with a strategy for the biting and fecal smearing. Thanks for your time. — Lorelee in Canada | | | ANSWER |
October 1, 2001 | | | Dear Lorelee,
With two sets of twins, there is little wonder that you are exhausted!
The first thing I would advise, if it is at all possible, is to get some help for a few hours a day. You might be able to call upon a family member (grandparents, or aunts/uncles, perhaps), or hire a trustworthy neighborhood teenager. Even a responsible, gentle ten year old might be able to help out a bit, and take some of the strain off.
As to the fecal smearing, it strikes me as probably a very effective way to get attention, and also express anger or rivalry. Other than frequent diaper changes, to limit your daughter's access to ammunition, I'd suggest that you take a very low-key approach. Look at your daughter in a disappointed or mildly disapproving way, and say (calmly), "No smearing! Let's put the BM (or whatever your favorite word is) where it belongs, in the toilet."
By not getting excited or overly angry, you are avoiding rewarding your daughter with a lot of attention for her negative behavior. Once the "reward" (that is, your becoming upset) goes away, she'll find another way to get your attention -- I hope a less messy way! Whenever you catch her playing nicely and not smearing, make an effort to praise her for "playing nicely."
I hesitate to suggest anything for you to read--you are busy enough already!--but there is more information on limit setting and dealing with naughty behavior in the discipline section, and also in the siblings section of our site.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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