Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
|
|
 Ask Dr. Needlman
Explaining Circumcision to a Four-Year-Old | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
How do I talk to my 4½-year-old son about why his penis is different than other males? His daddy and cousin are circumcised, and my son's is intact. Thanks!— Speechless Mom | | | ANSWER |
November 29, 2001 | | | Dear Speechless Mom,
In explaining to your son about his penis, a simple and matter-of-fact approach is likely to work the best, and also to be the easiest for you. First of all, you don't need to feel compelled to bring the subject up unless your child asks about it, seems curious, or acts concerned. After all, there are lots of differences between your son's penis and his father's. If it does seem that your son has questions, start with those questions. Try to find out what he wants to know, before telling him what you think he wants to know. For practical reasons, his dad might be the best one to have this discussion, because they can actually look at their penises together.
Here is a matter of fact explanation about circumcision that makes sense to me: When boys are born, the skin at the top of their penis usually covers up most of the tip of the penis. Sometimes parents decide to have that little bit of skin at the tip cut off when a baby is still very young. Sometimes parents decide not to. That's why some boys and men have that skin and others don't. If there were religious reasons, you might mention these if you think it's something your child can understand. You might say, for example, "Your daddy is Jewish, and Jewish baby boys have that skin cut off. It's a tradition. Since we decided that you would grow up Christian, we decided you didn't need to have that bit of skin cut off." (Of course, the explanation you give will fit your actual situation; this is just an example.)
Whatever explanation you give, reassure your son that penises work just as well with or without that little bit of skin. One way is not any better than the other, and it's OK to be different.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
|
