Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Little Boy Fascinated with Guns | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
We have a four-year-old son who seems to be very interested in guns. He isn't exposed to them, except he may see them on the Cartoon Network or Disney Channel (in the hands of characters that are police officers, etc.). He never watches adult content on TV. We don't talk about guns and do not have any in the home. In addition we try to tell him that guns are not good. We have told him that guns are for hunting when you get older. He tends to make anything he can into a gun, such as a golf club or hockey stick. Are we overreacting? Thanks.— Bkhagins | | | ANSWER |
November 29, 2001 | | | Dear Bkhagins,
No question about it many little boys are fascinated by guns. Gun fascination often peaks around the same time that boys show the most interest in superheroes, dinosaurs, and in being "big boys." What ties all of these things together, I think, is the theme of power. Little boys want to feel that they are powerful. In part, this is because they see that the world is full of big, powerful people, and they feel frightened sometimes. Of course, one of the most important people in a little boy's life is his father. By pretending to be powerful, little boys seem to be more like their big, powerful fathers. Many boys also have competitive feelings towards their fathers, although in reality of course they are no match for an adult. Usually, as boys enter elementary school, their competitive feelings lessen a bit, and they find other ways of asserting their power, such as sports. When this happens, gunplay usually subsides.
This is all to say that a fascination with guns is both very common in young children and also understandable. I don't think you need to worry that your son is on track to becoming a violent, gun loving grown up. That doesn't mean that you have to encourage your son's gunplay, or even tolerate it. You can say, simply, that you don't allow guns in your house, not even play guns. You might suggest other ways that "good guys" capture bad guys, such as trapping them or tying them up.
On the other hand, you could also decide that making a big deal over make-believe gunplay was not where you wanted to focus your parenting energy. Sometimes, when parents strongly forbid an exciting activity, it makes that activity seem even more exciting. A more effective response might be low-key disapproval, such as saying, "You know I don't like gun play. Why not play at something peaceful."— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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