Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Preschool Girl Wetting Her Pants | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
I have a three-year-old daughter who is going through a lot of changes right now. I'm having a baby in four weeks, my sister moved in with her 13 month old and my daughter's real father has not seen her in about five months. My little girl has asked questions about her father and has even told me he died. She's very close with my husband and he's been in the picture for about two years now. She doesn't know how to handle my sister's toddler but seems to be very happy about her new brother coming soon. She has never had a problem wetting her pants until this last month. I had her when I was 15 and I am now 19 and feel I have done well with her but I do need help now. Thanks for your help.— Lexysmommy in CA | | | ANSWER |
November 13, 2001 | | | Dear Lexysmommy,
There's no question that you are handling a lot right now, and your daughter is experiencing some of the same strains. Please read our article on daytime wetting and the other articles in the bedwetting section. While it is very common for life changes and stresses to cause wetting in a preschool girl, and that is probably the reason your daughter has begun wetting, you still need to make sure that the cause is not a urine infection. Little girls get urine infections. If they're not treated, and they last a long time or happen frequently, they can cause kidney problems. So, it is important that you have your daughter checked by a doctor for urine infections.
Otherwise, the main thing to do is to be understanding of your daughter (as I believe you are, from the tone of your letter), and not make too big a deal of the wetting. Let her know that "accidents happen," it's easy to change clothes, you aren't mad at her, and you know she'll be able to stay dry and use the toilet when she needs to. When she's ready, she'll do it.
Although you can't take away all of the pressures, talking with your daughter about missing her dad, and reassuring her that he's not dead (assuming that's the case), and that he loves her, is very important. Even if he doesn't write or call, you can say with real conviction that he loves her, and that you understand that she misses him, and that it's ok to miss him. This won't bring him back, of course, but it will help your daughter to feel understood and accepted, which is very important.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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