Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Young Child Has a Hard Time in New Situations | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
Do I need to be concerned? I have spent the last three years expecting my little girl to grow out of not sleeping and having tantrums constantly, She is fine on one to one basis or in own home--as I write this, I realize "on familiar territory" would be more accurate-- but once you introduce someone else into the picture or bring her someplace she is not familiar with, it is like an eruption or explosion. Even if someone comes into our house, she immediately starts screaming, shouting, and having tantrums. Is it possible that something is wrong that I need to be investigating instead of believing that she is still going to "grow out" of this?— Nell in Dublin, Ireland | | | ANSWER |
November 13, 2001 | | | Dear Nell,
I want to focus on the difficulty your daughter has with strangers and with new situations. Without knowing her, I can't tell you anything specific, but I can tell you some things and raise some questions that might help you put the problem into perspective. About 15 percent of children have what has been called "slow-to-warm-up" temperament. These children feel very uncomfortable in any new situation, or with new people. As preschoolers, they may show their discomfort by having tantrums or becoming very clingy. Given time, without pressure, they eventually feel comfortable (the situation or person is no longer new to them), and they are fine. It may take several exposures before a slow-to-warm-up child reaches this level of comfort. Although you can't change a child's temperament, you can help them to feel comfortable being who they are.
If, after considering the possibility of slow-to-warm-up temperament, you are still concerned about your daughter's behavior, then it makes good sense to seek an opinion from a child psychologist who knows about children's behavior and development, a pediatric psychologist, behavioral and developmental pediatrician, or behaviorally-trained general pediatrician or family doctor. Even if that person cannot magically make the problem disappear, he or she can stand by you and support you as you help your child to feel more comfortable and secure in the world.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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