Dr. Marjorie Greenfield
Specializing in pregnancy and birth.
|
|
 Ask Dr. Greenfield
Loss of Sexual Desire after Miscarriage | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Greenfield,
Since my miscarriage four weeks ago, I haven't had any sexual desire. Is this normal? I feel bad for my husband and I do not know what to do. Please help.— Taragr | | | ANSWER |
November 6, 2001 | | | Dear Tara,
It is totally normal to lose your sexual desire in times of stress or distress. Many women report low sex drive after miscarriage, after the death of a loved one, after childbirth, and in other difficult times. Even for those who didn't want to be pregnant, a miscarriage can affect your identity, your feelings about your body, your relationship, and your general mood. For those who were hoping for a baby, this is added to grief over the loss itself.
Relationship stress is another common cause of what may feel like generally low sexual desire. Sometimes women want to feel close before they are comfortable having sex, where men may want sex partly in order to feel close. Pregnancy loss can stress your relationship. Did your husband grieve the loss in the same way that you did? Was there any resentment between you about any aspect of the events around the miscarriage? It's important to maintain good communication with your spouse, even if you may have responded differently to the miscarriage.
Depression is also a cause of low sex drive. Are you enjoying other aspects of your life? Does food give you pleasure? What about other activities that you used to enjoy? How are you sleeping? Grief can lead to depression, which may resolve on its own over weeks or months, or may require treatment. If you think you are depressed, an assessment from your primary care practitioner or mental health professional can be helpful in sorting things out.
Keep in mind that it's still very early after the miscarriage--which can be a major stressor in itself. Talk with your husband about how you are feeling, and listen to his concerns as well. Seek professional help if your troubles don't resolve in time, after these simple steps. Good luck!— by Marjorie Greenfield, M.D. |
|
