Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Six-Year-Old's Play Is a Form of Coping | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
I just read your article on PTSD. I was looking for advice on what to tell my six-year-old son as I observed his play this morning. He was building a tower of blocks and then ran to get a toy American Airline jet. He said he was going to fly the plane into the tower just like the way it had happened to the twin towers. His play was not serious but regular, joyful play, and it surprised me. I have been wondering all day if I should talk to him about it and, if so, what I should say. I have been very open and honest with him about the attacks and have allowed him to watch the coverage on TV to a limited extent. What should I do?— Whitty in Flagstaff, Arizona | | | ANSWER |
October 9, 2001 | | | Dear Whitty,
From your description, it sounds like your six-year-old is dealing with the highly charged images of the terrorist attack in an emotionally healthy way--by taking control over them in play. Children do the same thing with many emotionally loaded topics. For example, children who are about to go to the doctor's for a blood test or a shot will often gleefully give a doll injection after injection (with a pretend syringe), announcing that "it hurts." When the time comes for the painful procedure, children who have had a chance to engage in this mastery play are calmer and less upset than those who have not.
You most likely don't need to do anything other than what you are doing. It is a good idea to restrict how much of the news you let him watch. You don't want to overload him with distressing images. Right now, it sounds as though he has plenty to fuel his imagination already; he doesn't need any more.
If you want, you could join his play as a more-or-less passive participant. For example, you could sit nearby, watch what he does, then invite him to tell you about it. By listening carefully to what he says, you may find some inaccurate ideas, or some ideas that are causing your son anxiety. You could then gently set the record straight. It's important, however, that you don't take over the playing or badger your son to talk when he doesn't want to. He is already doing what he needs to do to feel all right, so the most important role for you may be simply to let him.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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