Ask Dr. Needlman Child Acting Out Violent Events in Play
QUESTION
Dear Dr. Needlman, My son has ADHD/ODD. I am worried about the way he's been acting out in play what he has seen during the attack. He pretends he's flying and runs his toys into the dresser drawer. He also lines all his toys up and pretends their "Doing the Pledge Allegiance" as he calls it.
What can I do to help him before his appointment with his doctor? He doesn't want to go to sleep at night even when he's in the bed with us.
— Melissa in Fayetteville, Arkansas
ANSWER
October 1, 2001
Dear Melissa, One of the main features of ADHD is a difficulty to control impulses. The teacher asks a question, and the child with ADHD has to jump up and shout out the answer because the impulse to do so is strong, and the child's ability to keep a lid on it is relatively weak. Thinking about the terrorist attacks of September 11th, many people have the impulse to strike back violently--to respond to violence with violence of our own. A child with ADHD may have a much harder time keeping that impulse in check.
That said, I think it is a very positive thing that your son is acting out on his violent impulses in play (and not hitting other children or breaking things about the house, other than perhaps his own toys). Play can be a safe, acceptable outlet for emotions. Sometimes letting off steam in play can help a child keep control of his impulses through the rest of the day. On the other hand, it sometimes happens that aggressive play actually stirs up more violent fantasies and impulses. You'll have to observe your child, and see if you can notice whether he seems calmer after one of his more war-like play sessions.
Since graphic images of the destruction and of preparation for war are likely to inflame your son's more aggressive impulses, it's a good idea to put him on a "no-violence diet"--no TV news, no violent videos (even cartoons) or video games, and no yelling (by him or others) at home. This is often easier said than done, but the payoff is likely to be a calmer, more in-control boy. Don't expect the changes to come all at once, but over time you should notice some lessening of your son's more aggressive impulses.
THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information drSpock.com
provides is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for
professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care
professional if you have a specific health concern. Mention or advertisement
of any product, service, or brand does not constitute endorsement, guarantee,
or recommendation by The Dr. Spock Company. Please read our full
Terms of Service.
