Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Trouble Getting Child to Eat or Talk about How He Feels | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
I can't seem to get my son, who's 10-years-old, to eat or talk about how he feels about what has happen in Manhattan. Please give some suggestions.— Mommy2lovesyou in Brooklyn,Newyork | | | ANSWER |
October 1, 2001 | | | Dear Mommy2lovesyou,
Not all school-age children will want to, or be able to, talk about the events of September 11 and their emotional reactions to them. Some children have a strong ability to distance themselves emotionally from upsetting news, which is really a good, self-protective response. Rather than allowing themselves to feel a flood of emotions, they may have a delayed emotional response. This is often an effective coping mechanism that allows them to deal with smaller amounts of anger, sadness, and grief, spread out over time. Emotional responses that have been put "on hold," sometimes re-emerge days, weeks, or even months later.
If it were just a matter of your son not wanting to talk, it might be that he was simply taking his time to process the shocking news, putting his emotional response on hold until he was ready to handle it. But I'm concerned that he has stopped eating--that shows that the emotional strain is interfering with his ability to function in life. You didn't mention other changes, but I wonder if he is still participating in school, spending time with friends, sleeping OK, and doing other normal activities. His not being able to do a lot of these things would be a sign that his emotional responses may be too powerful for him to handle alone. Seeking help from a mental health professional would be wise. Parents often hold off on seeing such a professional worrying that it means their child is "crazy." This is far from the truth. Intervention early by a trained professional can avoid bigger, more difficult problems later.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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