Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Helping Children Feel More Secure in Times of National Crisis | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My six-year-old daughter is having trouble dealing with the tragedy that happened September 11. She saw some of it on TV at school right after it happened and then the school she attended dismissed early. I have explained to her the best way I know how to about what happened (I don't understand it myself). She's scared; she keeps asking me if it is over, or if it can happen again. What can I tell her to make her feel safe again? She is also upset because her father is stuck in New Orleans until the airports open again.— Kenikasyethan in Kentucky | | | ANSWER |
October 1, 2001 | | | Dear Kenikasyethan,
Probably the most important thing is to make sure you continue to both talk to your daughter and repeatedly reassure her that you and her father love her, that you will make sure she is safe, and that you and her father are safe, too. Let her know that he won't come back until he is sure he can do so safely and that even though you are apart, you know he is OK.
While you can't promise your daughter that this or other tragedies will never happen again, you can say that you and her dad, and everybody else, will do everything they can to make sure that it won't. You might explain how that includes the need for people to be patient--both by those waiting in far away cities to come home, and those waiting for them at home.
In addition to being patient, offer your child some things that she can do; this will help her feel that she is a part of the overall effort to make things better. She can write to her congressperson (may work best if she dictates, and you write) explaining how she feels and why it's important to make sure that airplanes are safe. You can help her write a letter to her father and draw pictures to go with it. She can participate with you in some of the national observances that are helping people to come together in support of our national healing. By taking a more active role, she can begin to regain a sense of control, and you can, too.
Several other articles on our site have other specific suggestions on how you can help your daughter regain a sense of security.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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