Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
When Visitation Requires Plane Travel | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My nine-year-old daughter is supposed to fly to San Francisco to see her father this weekend. However, in light of the recent tragic events, I do not think she should fly so soon. How can I convince her father that her fear is real and should be respected?— JennieL in Orange County, CA | | | ANSWER |
September 18, 2001 | | | Dear JennieL,
In response to the terrorist hijacking and destruction, many, many people will decide that flying is not for them. For most of these people, this is not a question of some psychologically abnormal phobia, but rather a perfectly rational fear of an activity that appears to be risky. In time, when the airlines are able to reestablish their previously excellent safety record, and when it becomes clear that much more effective safety measures are in place, your daughter and the many people like her may change their minds and start flying again.
I can understand how this is hard for her father, however, particularly as there is no set "end point" when your daughter is certain to feel comfortable flying again. If your daughter's fear of flying persists, and if she is motivated to overcome this fear, a short course of relaxation-mental imagery therapy can be effective.
Alternatively, you might need to rethink your visitation arrangements. Perhaps you could arrange for fewer but longer visits, and use ground transportation (that is, you might drive her). Another possibility would be for her father to fly to your city to have the visit. I can't think of any situation, short of a medical emergency, when it makes sense to force a nine-year-old onto an airplane despite intense fear on her part.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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