Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
|
|
 Ask Dr. Needlman
Toddler Troubled by Change | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
I have the hardest time getting my 12-month-old daughter to sleep every night. Within the past two months, I have switched jobs--I work day shift hours now--we also have moved to a larger home. At first I thought she was afraid because she didn't know where she was, but she sure can find my bedroom in the dark. I changed jobs so I could be a better mom and be home to tuck her in bed. I think maybe she is stressed out about the changes. She pulls her own hair and has started banging the back of her head on walls. Is this normal? What can I do to make bedtime a more pleasant experience for all?— Gabbers in IL | | | ANSWER |
October 1, 2001 | | | Dear Gabbers,
It sounds as though there were several big changes in your daughter's life in the past two months--new bedroom, new bedtime routine, and new schedule for when you are there. Even though the changes were all positive, change is difficult, and 10-12 months is an age when changes are particularly hard for many children to adapt to. Your daughter's response--hair pulling and head banging--are common ways young children often deal with stress. Even though these behaviors strike us adults as being uncomfortable, many children find them comforting.
If you haven't already done this, start by creating a pleasant, relaxing bedtime ritual that lasts about 20-30 minutes, such as holding her, rocking and singing to her, or reading a goodnight story or poem, followed up with a final kiss before you leave the room. The key is to always do the same thing so that there is continuity from night to night.
As your child gets used to this new routine, she may find comfort in its predictability and begin to bang her head and pull her hair less often. It's important to realize that it may take days, or even weeks, so be patient. If you notice that your daughter has a hard time adapting to changes generally, in the future, you can try to prepare her for changes ahead of time, if possible, so she has longer to adapt.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
|
