Ask Our Expert - Handling A Two Year Old Who Hits And Bites

October 16, 2008

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Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.


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Ask Dr. Needlman Handling A Two Year Old Who Hits And Bites

QUESTION


My son is two and occasionally bites and hits other kids. How should I deal with this? — Andrea in Ann Arbor, Michigan

ANSWER	May 25, 2000


Young children bite and hit because they don't know any better. It takes years and patient teaching before children figure out what are, and are not, acceptable ways of getting what they want. It also takes years to develop the strength of self-control that allows children to not hit and bite, but rather negotiate using words. Up until age 3, regular hitting and biting is probably normal; by four, it should be tailing off. You can prevent some hitting and biting by stepping in when you see your child beginning to tussle over a toy. Making a rule that there is "no hurting" in the house is very helpful. Sticking to that rule yourself is critical. Some parents think that if they "bite their child back" it will "teach him how it feels." This is a mistake; it really just teaches him that biting is acceptable. — by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.

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