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 Ask Dr. Jana
Four-Year-Old Refuses to Get a Haircut | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Jana,
I have a four-year-old grandson who has never had a hair cut. He does not want to get a hair cut even though he has been with his Dad when he got one. We have talked about it with him but he just keeps saying I do not want a haircut! We do not know if he is scared or what he is concerned about. I would prefer not to force him to get a hair cut but would like to know a good way to get this accomplished.— Gaw in Richmond, VA | | | ANSWER |
May 10, 2001 | | | Dear Gaw,
Your grandson's refusal to get his haircut could be based on many things. I think the first step is to really sit down and try to talk to him about it. Is it because he thinks it will hurt? Does he have some inaccurate idea about what will be involved? Or does he simply want to take this opportunity to exert his independence by taking a stand against haircuts? I agree that you don't want to force the situation but instead try to work with your grandson. I will add that it will be helpful for you to determine which family member is most likely to be the most well-received by your grandson in discussing the matter and taking him.
I am assuming that whether or not your grandson gets his hair cut is not up for discussion. If this is the case, it is important that you don't offer him this choice when he really doesn't have one. Simply tell him that he needs to get a haircut, and that's the way it is. That said, the next step is figuring out where and how--and this is where he can be given some choices. Discuss with him whether the electric hair clippers are particularly scary--and if so, agree on just scissors. See if sitting on your lap will help allay his fears. Consider whether a family member has enough skill to cut your grandson's hair, or if you will all regret this choice afterwards (and believe me, if no-one is skilled, you may well live to regret it!).
I can tell you that some children do much better when they get an official haircut by a stylist in a salon or barber shop, while others find this much more intimidating. I find that many children are much more at ease in the many children's haircut places that seem to have sprung up all over the place. Not only do these salons tend to have kid friendly decor--right down to race car or carousel horse seats--but they also tend to be run by stylists who are more attuned to making children feel comfortable, and more skilled at cutting the hair of moving targets.
Finally, as with any other of your grandson's accomplishments, don't forget to tell him he did a good job--even if it wasn't picture-perfect. At this age, a special treat or a simple reward can make the whole experience a lot smoother.— by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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