Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Scared of Insects | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My three-year-old son has suddenly developed a fear of insects. I cannot think of one specific instance that may have triggered it either. It all began when he thought he saw a bug in the tub. I know he has seen one bug crawling up the wall while napping one day. He now says that he is afraid of bugs and claims to see bugs when none are there. Today, we even ended up putting pure white sheets on the bed for his nap in order to make it evident that no bugs were there. When he thinks he sees bugs, he gets so worked up he shakes and screams and cries. He thinks everything is a bug. String, lint, food, and hair all look like bugs to him. Today, he wanted to take off his clothes because he thought that there were bugs in them. Thank you for your help!!— Worried Mom in Maryland | | | ANSWER |
May 29, 2001 | | | Dear Worried Mom,
If you think about it from a three-year-old's point of view, it makes sense to be afraid of insects: they fly and crawl all over, you never know where they're going to show up, and they sting or bite you! Preschool age children usually don't have a very well developed sense of size. Adults can rationally know that an insect's stinger is really a very tiny thing; but to a child anything that goes into their bodies can seem huge. (If you want proof of this, ask your preschool child to draw a picture of the needle that a doctor uses to give them a shot. The needle is usually bigger than the child!)
Most of the time, fear of insects can be helped by the sort of reassurance you are offering. Because it's easy to frightened of the unknown, it may help for your son to learn a bit more about insects, in a non-threatening way. You might want to go to the library and find a simple book that tells about insects. Ants are a good place to start, because they are so tiny, and because their social life is so interesting.
Children learn an awful lot by watching their parents. A lot of adults are squeamish about insects. If you can, be a model of calmness around any bugs you find. One way of dealing with insects in a controlled, non-threatening context is to buy an "ant farm" at an educational toy store, or one of those kits that allows you to watch a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. Your son's fascination may overcome his fear.
A word of caution: When dealing with your son's fear of insects, it's important that you reassure him without belittling or teasing him. There is nothing to be gained by adding humiliation or shame to your child's fear. Telling a child to "be a man" also doesn't help and can simply convince a child to lie and say that he isn't afraid when he really is. At the same time, it's important that you don't let your son's fear dominate his life or keep him from playing outside or doing other normal activities.
Every young child has fears. Occasionally, a child will have such severe fears that they start taking over his life (for example, if your son were afraid to leave the house, because of fear of bugs.) A child psychologist or other child mental health professional can often help in these situations. To find out more about fears, see Fears in Preschool Children.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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