Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
|
|
 Ask Dr. Needlman
Two-Year-Old Pushed to Give Up His Crib | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My two-year-old grandson is making the adjustment from crib to bed. They're expecting a baby in June so they pushed up the big bed a little early. They close his bedroom door at night. He's not able to open it. They have to since there are three dogs in the house. They have a monitor. He refuses to sleep in the bed. After reading to him, they leave the room, and he runs after them to the door and after a few minutes of crying sleeps on the floor by the door. They're feeling very guilty about pushing him too soon. They tried to leave the door open with a gate but that didn't work at all. Help!— Jo Ann in Cleveland, Ohio | | | ANSWER |
April 10, 2001 | | | Dear Jo Ann,
I think the answer, as you yourself have suggested, is to give the child more time. Once a child is ready, the move from crib to bed is easy. Instead of being traumatic, it's a proud mark of growing up. But if you try to make that step happen early, it is stressful for all involved.
Your grandson is in for a somewhat stressful time, in any case. Two-year-olds often have difficulty adjusting to the birth of a sibling because they are still so dependent on their parents, even though they would like to think otherwise. (By age three, many are involved in more out-of-home activities, they're more able to express themselves verbally, and more able to really help in the care of their new siblings.) One response to the stress of becoming an older brother is to want to be more babyish again--for example, to sleep in a crib again. So, the push to grow up fast may be particularly hard at this time.
In your grandson's case, I think the easiest response is also a good one: give the crib back. The new baby will probably start off in a cradle. If he's ready for a crib before his older brother is ready to give it up, you can rent, borrow, or (if necessary) buy a second crib. When the two-year-old is ready for a big bed, he'll let his parents know and the transition then will be a smooth one.
The parents' guilt is understandable, but not necessary. Was trying to rush your grandson into a big bed a mistake? Sure, I suppose. Parents (being human) make mistakes all the time! Will it have long-term negative effects? I doubt it. Children are tough. Given love and understanding they can (and do!) weather lots of parental mistakes and come out just fine.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
|
