Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
|
|
 Ask Dr. Needlman
A Five-Year-Old Who Won't Stop Talking | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
I have two boys, ages five years and eight months. My five-year-old is very talkative and can't be quiet for more than a few seconds. Is there a way to help him to learn to not talk so much? It is frustrating at times because when the news is on or my husband and I are talking he interrupts and just won't be quiet. He also talks too loud. At first we thought this was because of day care, but after being out of day care for four months it didn't improve. We are constantly reminding him to not talk so much and not so loud. What else can we do?— Michele in Georgetown, KY | | | ANSWER |
April 6, 2001 | | | Dear Michele,
Although it may seem like a little thing, being around a child who talks constantly and loudly does grate on the nerves. Most importantly, it makes it harder to enjoy being with your son, although clearly you still love him. Talking too much isn't a problem in families where everyone is loud, but yours is not one of them.
Many children who are chatterboxes at home manage to keep quiet when they need to at school. A child who talks too much and at inappropriate times at school and who also has difficulty controlling his physical activity, paying attention, and/or organizing work, might have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). However, I don't get the sense that this is your son's problem.
Here are some practical tips for a child who simply talks too much at home:- Catch him being quiet or listening (surely he does this some of the time), and give him brief verbal praise like "I noticed that you have been listening quietly; that makes me feel glad to be with you."
- See how many times you can praise him in an afternoon or evening; make a chart or put a green mark on the back of his hand using a washable marker for every time he manages to keep quiet appropriately (many children love this). When he gets to a certain number of marks that you decide ahead of time, celebrate with a treat.
- Tell him that learning when to talk and when to stay quiet is a hard thing when you're young. Express confidence that he'll get better and better at this as he gets older.
- If dinnertime chatter is a problem, use an egg timer. Set it for three or four minutes. Let your son know that he can talk again when it dings and that in the meantime it is time for grown-up talk. Setting these sorts of limits to preserve adult time is very important. Lengthen the time gradually as your son becomes capable.
- If your son cannot or will not stop talking (at least for a few moments), give him a warning, then give him a time out. Again, it's important that you, as the adult, set this limit.
— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
|
