Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Penis Play at Three Years Old | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
I have a concern about my three-year-old son. He and another boy in his preschool class were pulling each other's pants down and saying and acting out peeing in each other's behinds. The teachers and the other parent seemed to be really upset. I was just wandering if this is just normal exploring at this age or do I need to be concerned. Thank you.— Confused Father in Las Vegas, NV | | | ANSWER |
April 6, 2001 | | | Dear Confused Father,
This behavior falls into the category of normal sexual exploration in a three-year-old. Even though your description calls up images of anal sex, I suspect that the children's behavior wasn't an acting out of adult sexual behavior so much as it was an attempt to figure out what penises and bottoms do! There is no question that most boys at this age are terrifically interested in their penises and in what comes out in front and below. Same-sex and other-sex looking and touching at this age has no bearing on a child's long-term sexual identity or behavior.
The best response is to stay calm, explain matter-of-factly that penises are private, which (at this age) means that children aren't supposed to touch those parts of other children. Private also means that children need to wear clothes most of the time and need to tell their parents if any adult tries to touch them in those areas. Young children's sexuality is often confusing to adults. To learn more, see our Sex and Sexuality program.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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