Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
2½-Year-Old Bullied at Playgroup | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My 2½-year-old boy is regularly the victim of hitting and pushing from older children (three-five years old) in his playgroup. He never fights back or reacts to this aggression. I think he should be at least trying to defend himself in these situations. Should I be concerned? What should we tell him to do?— Concerned Dad | | | ANSWER |
March 15, 2001 | | | Dear Concerned Dad,
There is a huge difference in size between most two-year-olds and most five-year-olds. Unless your son is really big and tough, fighting back is likely to be futile. He probably knows better than to try. His non-combativeness in this setting does not strike me as being anything to be concerned about.
I understand the need for children not to be victims and to stand up for themselves. But two, three, even five years of age are too young to have to learn this lesson.
Instead, young children should be learning how to settle disagreements by talking, not hitting and pushing. It's up to the supervising grown-ups to make this happen. They do this by intervening before the physical conflict starts (or right away, if they haven't been able to anticipate it) and by insisting that the children work out their differences by talking. They need to serve as models of reasonable, respectful conduct for the children. They help children to see that might does not make right.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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