Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Child Who Bites Himself after Being Punished | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
Why do children bite themselves after being punished?— Sharon in Rushford, MN | | | ANSWER |
March 15, 2001 | | | Dear Sharon,
The simple answer is that biting (or scratching, hitting, and pulling hair) is a way to release frustration or anger. Sometimes the self-biting also can be a way to manipulate the parent. If a parent becomes exceptionally concerned whenever the child bites himself and responds by bending over backwards to make the child feel better, then the self-biting is likely to become a regular behavior anytime the child doesn't get what he wants.
Your question leads me to some thoughts about punishment in general. Parents punish children in order to teach them how to behave, to teach them a lesson. They want the child to feel remorse, to think about what he did wrong, and to resolve not to repeat the misdeed.
Unfortunately, what often happens is that the punishment causes the child to feel angry and resentful instead of remorseful. Children often feel so angry that they can't really think about much of anything except how angry they are (and how they'd like to get their revenge on the parent). Children in this state certainly can't reflect on the reason they're being punished. As a result, they are less likely to resolve to do better next time and more likely to decide on lying more convincingly next time to avoid punishment.
This isn't so much of a problem when punishments are fair, fitting to the "crime," not too harsh, and not too frequent. More often, the child who never learns is the child who gets the harshest and most frequent punishment, who as a consequence feels angry, resentful, and not in the mood to learn.
In these cases, parents justifiably feel stuck. A consultation with a child mental health professional--a psychologist, child guidance specialist, developmental-behavioral pediatrician, or psychiatrist--can help parents and children get un-stuck.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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