Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Getting a Two-Year-Old to Sleep in His Own Bed | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My child will be two years old in the next week. How do we as parents get him to sleep in his own bed in his own room?— Three's Not Company! in USA | | | ANSWER |
April 2, 2001 | | | Dear Three's Not Company,
Learning to sleep alone in bed is a big developmental challenge for many children, particularly if they are used to sleeping with their parents. Given a choice, I think most children would sleep with their parents, at least for the first few years of life. But the same children can also learn to sleep comfortably on their own.
There is a straightforward two-step process you can go through to help your son learn to sleep in his own bed:
Step one: be certain that you and your spouse are in complete agreement that this is what you want. Talk very honestly about this. One of you may feel that it's really not such a big thing to have a little one in bed and that since he likes it so much, why upset him by disrupting his sleeping situation. Or perhaps one of you is convinced that your son really can't sleep alone, or that it would be cruel to make him do it. You need to make certain that the two of you are able to act as a team. You will need to support each other for the next step.
Step two: Let your son know that you (the grown-ups) have decided that he (the child) will need to sleep in his own bed from now on. He is a bigger kid now, and big kids sleep in their own beds. You might want to go to the store and buy some special sheets, really cool ones, to celebrate the occasion. Put your son to bed in his own bed for naps and at night.
Be extremely consistent. Do not, under any circumstances, bring him into your bed with you, or lay down in his bed with him. If he comes into your room in the night, simply walk him back to his bed and tuck him back in. If he is upset, sit by his bed and help him to calm down, in his own bed. Let your son know that you know what he is doing is difficult, but you have utter faith in his ability to do it. Use lots of praise.
To make things easier for your child, make this change at a time when other things in his and your lives are relatively stable and stress-free: not right after starting a new school; not when one of you is highly stressed at work. It's best if you (the parents) can remain upbeat, sympathetic, consistent, and solidly in agreement with one another. This takes a lot of energy and preparation. You're bound to be tired for a couple of nights. On the other hand, it doesn't take long for most children to learn that they really are able to sleep on their own.
This simple program works for children and families who are basically healthy--they just need to learn how to be apart from each other comfortably at night. If your situation is different, you might need extra support from a pediatrician, family doctor, or a child guidance professional in order to move forward successfully.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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