Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Toddler Won't Let Mom Sit Down | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My son just turned 15 months old, and he will not let me sit down. Every time I attempt to sit down he comes over and grabs my hand and wants me to go somewhere with him. If I tell him you go, he will throw a temper tantrum. He will not play by himself. What do I do?— Tired Mom in Brooklyn, NY | | | ANSWER |
May 29, 2001 | | | Dear Tired Mom,
It is the rare adult who can match the energy level of an active 15-month-old toddler! Your son needs to be "on the go" all the time. But you need a few minutes now and then to rest. Making sure you get those minutes isn't just selfishness. You can't be an effective parent if you're worn out all the time. Also, your son needs to learn that he is not the "boss." He needs to learn that getting along means sometimes not doing what you want to do when you want to do it.
So, I don't think you need to feel at all guilty about insisting on some time to sit quietly. If your son wants to play at your feet, fine. (You might want to put together a collection of attractive toys that you pull out only for these "quiet times," so that they are special.) If he wants to run around the room, you can probably put up with that. If he has a tantrum, well, he has a tantrum. They aren't harmful, and 15 months is old enough that practice handling a little frustration is a good thing.
If your son absolutely refuses to stop pestering you--say he comes over and hits you on the leg, to show you how mad he is that you're not playing his way--then I think a time out makes sense.
You might want to take a look, too, at Teaching Your Toddler the Ground Rules and Why Some Parents Avoid Discipline.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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