Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Puzzling Talk from a Toddler | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My 20-month-old daughter is very advanced for her age: She has a vocabulary of more than 200 words and can form up to three-word statements, requests, and inquiries. However, over the past couple of weeks, she has begun saying, "Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama..." even at times when I'm giving her my full attention. When I ask her, "What?" she is either silent or repeats it again. I can't think of anything that has caused this change in her behavior. I'm a stay-at-home mom, and we all spend lots of family time together in the evenings, yet she doesn't do this to her father. I'm not looking for a solution; I'm looking to understand this behavior.— Confused Mom in Denver, CO | | | ANSWER |
June 13, 2001 | | | Dear Confused Mom,
With very verbal children--mostly girls, as it turns out--adults often assume that their thinking skills are as advanced as their talking skills. This is understandable, since thinking and talking are so tightly linked together for adults. But a 20-month-old who can say many, many words and phrases most likely still has some age-appropriate (that is to say, immature) thinking patterns.
I bring this up because one possible reason for your daughter's puzzling behavior is that she has a partly formed idea or feeling that she doesn't have the words for. If she could express it, her idea might go like this: "Mama, I love you so much that I worry terribly that we'll be apart from each other." I'm imagining this because many 20-month-olds go through a period of intense clinginess when they seem to want to become attached completely to their mothers, as though the possibility of separation had just dawned on them and was frightening.
Quite likely your daughter has something else altogether on her mind. You might be able to figure it out by paying attention to the context it occurs in. Or you may not. With all we know about them, young children are still fundamentally a mystery to us adults.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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