Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Preschooler Overwhelmed by Fears | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My five-year-old son has developed so many fears the past few months, it seems out of hand. He even seems to fear going to preschool. I have temporarily taken him out of school after lengthy conversations with the teacher. We both agree he needs a break. He would withdraw from activities when they began and then join in later. He is also very afraid of being the center of attention (like during birthdays, Christmas, etc.). In addition, he had an episode of saying he wanted to hurt himself because he did not like himself, and that he wanted to kill himself. Before this, he was a happy, well-adjusted child--in fact, he was a preschool classroom leader last year. Should I worry at this point, or is this likely to pass? He is the youngest of three children, with an older brother, 15, and a sister, 13. His father and I have been married 20 years, and there have been no changes in routine or family life.— Mela in Port Angeles, WA | | | ANSWER |
June 13, 2001 | | | Dear Mela,
There are a couple of red flags in your letter that suggest your child may be in real distress. While it is normal for young children to have a whole range of fears, when the fears disrupt a child's ability to do normal activities--going to school, playing with friends, attending parties--then they are beyond the range of healthy variation.
I think you also need to be concerned about your child's saying that he wants to die. Suicide is rare in young children, but it does happen. A child who says that he is miserable and doesn't want to be alive is asking for help.
It is very hard for any parent to hear that her child might have a psychological problem. But admitting that there is a problem is the first step toward making things better. Fears that are bad enough to disrupt a child's daily life usually get worse, not better, unless treated. Effective treatments might include various kinds of therapy, perhaps with medication. Your pediatrician, family doctor, or nurse practitioner should be able to refer you to a capable child mental health professional. — by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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