Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Three-Year-Old Needs Diaper to Poop | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My three-year-old will sit on her potty for what seems like forever and nothing will happen until I put her pull-ups on. She tells me when she has bowel movements. I've been trying for over a year now. Her older sister was a snap. What am I doing wrong?— Kenziemom in Yuba City, CA | | | ANSWER |
April 22, 2002 | | | Dear Kenziemom,
You aren't doing anything wrong, that I can see. The problem you are describing is really very common. It even has a name: stool toileting refusal. Our article on potty refusal will give you a lot of information about it.
No one knows why some children develop this problem and others do not. Children who refuse to use the potty might be more willful or temperamentally difficult, but many are not. This isn't a sign of any problems to come; it's just an inconvenient problem to deal with now.
The most important thing is to avoid getting into a power struggle that you can't win. Punishments and threats will only backfire. Some children will make an effort to use the potty to earn an attractive reward, but you need to be careful not to let the promise of a reward shift into nagging or pleading, which won't work.
For most children, simply allowing them to have bowel movements in their diapers or pull-ups, while keeping yourself from critcizing or pushing, is the easiest and also the fastest solution. In time, the children feel comfortable moving over to the potty. It usually takes about three months or so.
Watch out, though, that your daughter does not develop constipation. This makes the problem much more difficult to handle. If you find yourself or your child becoming frustrated, or the problem hasn't taken care of itself in two or three months, talk with your child's doctor.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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