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 Ask Dr. Jana
A Two-Year-Old with a Mind of Her Own | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Jana,
My 2-1/2-year-old battles every night over putting on her pjs, having her hair combed after the bath, and brushing her teeth. These are not optional items to capitulate on, but I'm weary of battling with her. I've tried a couple of persuasive techniques, but to no long-term avail. Would love some suggestions about how I can cajole her into these three steps without getting into a battle of wills in which we both end up in tears.
— Amanda in San Francisco | | | ANSWER |
January 3, 2001 | | | Dear Amanda,
The kind of battles you describe don't only occur at your house! I like to assure parents that it is a two-year-old's job to test the limits and fight for some independence at all costs. The good news is that there are ways around these battles so that the daily routine doesn't have to end in tears.
Knowing that your child is particular about her pajamas, try putting anything she is allowed to wear to sleep in a bottom drawer. This can include t-shirts, sweatpants, sleepers, etc. Then let her decide what she'd prefer to wear each evening. If you like, you can even let her pick out new pajamas if there's a special pair she wants.
Similarly, allowing your daughter to have her own hairbrush and making up new ways to use it--such as brushing her hair in the water or simply letting her brush first--often puts an end to the struggle. My own toddler eagerly allows his hair to be brushed with his beloved elephant brush.
Finally, having a special toothbrush and toothpaste, or simply getting a stepping stool so that your daughter can turn the tap on and off herself may make a difference. In my home, we have a miniature recliner that we call "the dentist chair." After tub time, we make a game of racing to the dentist chair, reclining it, and beginning to brush, starting with the "smile teeth" (front teeth), then the back, then the tongue, etc.
Bottom line is that if you recognize your daughter's arguments for what they really are--a desire to be more independent--and then figure out fun (and safe) ways to give her a little measure of control, you will both be able to enjoy your bedtime routine together. — by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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