Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
|
|
 Ask Dr. Needlman
A Suspicion of Neglect | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
Hello, I have an issue about neglect. My sister-in-law has had one child taken away from her because of abuse, and she has had two children since then. Her oldest is five, and he has ADHD and is on Ritalin. He is always in trouble at school and always getting thrown off the bus, hitting other children. My five-year-old son said that he was playing with his privates. Her house is disgusting and the children are always dirty and hungry. Are these signs of neglect or does something seem wrong? Or am I being over protective? Please help. I really don't know what to do.
— Susan91271 in Tenn | | | ANSWER |
April 22, 2002 | | | Dear Susan91271,
You ask a difficult but important question. It is often very hard to know whether a child is being abused or neglected. Too often, adults simply turn their backs because they don't want to "cause trouble" or risk offending a neighbor or family member. Sometimes this attitude leaves children to suffer.
Although your concern sounds reasonable, none of the things you mention in your letter are clear-cut signs of neglect. Many children who are not neglected have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD and get into trouble in school and on the bus.
I'm not sure what to make of your son's report that his cousin was "playing with his privates." It is concerning if a five-year-old compulsively masturbates in public. If your son meant that his cousin was touching his (your son's) penis, then you do need to find out more details. It can be very hard to get reliable information from a young child. A family doctor or pediatrician can often talk with a young child in a non-threatening way and find out more than a parent can.
When children are dirty and hungry, that can also be a sign of neglect. However, all too many children in our country are hungry not because of neglect, but because their parents don't have enough money to buy adequate food.
Here is the bottom line: Any adult who is concerned that a child may be being abused or neglected should report his or her concerns to the appropriate county child protection agency. Every county has a hotline number for this purpose. You can get it by calling 411. The child protection agency is required by law to investigate the concern. They should not reveal your name. These agency investigations are not perfect, but they are the best mechanism we currently have for assuring that children are not abused or neglected.
The decision to call the child protection agency is not an easy one. In making this call, you are not being a "rat" or an informer; you are doing your duty as an adult who cares for children. This is a duty that too many adults neglect.
— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
|
