Dr. Robert Needlman
Specialist in pediatric behavior and development.
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 Ask Dr. Needlman
Peeing in the Wrong Places | | | QUESTION | | | Dear Dr. Needlman,
My potty-trained three-year-old has begun urinating on different items in the house during the day: my bed, his bed, his toy box, and his shoe. He will sometimes come to me and announce it, proudly. He also has been touching himself a lot lately and will not wear underwear and likes to be nude. What should I do?— Dawn in Texas | | | ANSWER |
May 23, 2001 | | | Dear Dawn,
It's hard to know just what the motivation is that leads some young children to deposit their urine in the wrong places. Here are some possibilities:
- Boys this age often are quite proud of their penises and the fact that they can squirt a stream of "pee" wherever they want. This pride is part of the normal development of a male sexual identity. Some boys are more open about showing this "penis pride." Masturbation is normal at his age.
- A boy who wants attention might start urinating inappropriately as a highly effective way of getting it. Clearly, this is a behavior that is hard to ignore!
- Young children who are angry sometimes use urine or feces as a weapon. They may appear outwardly gleeful, but the anger might become apparent when a therapist talks with them or looks at pictures they have drawn.
What can you do about this? Set a firm limit: Everyone wears underwear, and your son has to, too. If you insist (even to the point of physically helping him put the underpants on) and keep insisting, he will eventually have to go along.
Make sure your son is getting plenty of attention around other issues throughout the day. Try to find lots of occasions to praise him for good behavior. (For more on praising and other behavior-changing techniques, see our Discipline program.) In particular, praise him when he does use the toilet appropriately.
Finally, give clear negative feedback when your son does urinate inappropriately. Put on a stern face, shake your head, and say (but don't yell) "I don't like it when you put your pee in the wrong place. It belongs in the toilet (or potty)." Suppress any urge to smile or think that what your son has done is somehow funny or cute. That would only be giving him a mixed message. If these efforts don't help within a week or two, talk with his doctor. Guidance from a child behavior professional may be necessary to understand the behavior and help you change it.— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. |
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