Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

November 21, 2009

SEARCH drSpock

my account | sign in

Toddler & Preschool | Emotional Well-Being

BACK TO: Emotional Well-Being |

PREVIOUS MESSAGE

NEXT MESSAGE

AUTHOR:

thwarted

DATE: 07/28/03 8:21am

SUBJECT:

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

IN REPLY TO: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call
AUTHOR: val738

Well, I'm not in your shoes, but I have been in your daughter's shoes, although her case is a bit more extreme. When I became a young adult, I realized how very pleased I was with the way my mother handled the situation, and told her so. She never said a negative word about my father, and she never made excuses for him. So I was left to draw my own conclusions, and came to my own view of my father as a teen. It took a long time. But I really respected my mother for letting me come to my own conclusions.

About your daughter saying Bob is not her daddy, can you define a father for her, not physiologically, but what a father does and how he acts, etc. And tell her that Bob wants to be all of those things for her.

And when she asks where her father is, show her a map. Give her the facts. When she asks why he doesn't see her more, tell her that you don't know. I mean, only Sam knows that, right? When she asks why he didn't come for her bday, say you don't know, etc. The "other priorities" comment is telling her that she is not important to Sam. That's a big blow, once she starts to comprehend that comment. But you dont' need to tell her, she'll figure it out when she's older, based on Sam's actions. And she'll have Bob, so maybe it won't be so bad.

MESSAGES

How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

val738

07/26/03 03:40pm

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

thwarted

07/28/03 08:21am

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

Rhi'sDragonMom

08/12/03 08:59am

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

thwarted

08/26/03 09:06am

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

thwarted

08/26/03 09:07am

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

fef99

08/12/03 01:28pm

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

JudyDH

08/26/03 07:03pm

Re: How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call

IansMama

10/24/03 12:42pm

PREVIOUS DISCUSSION

NEXT DISCUSSION

| |
| | |

THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information drSpock.com provides is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern. Mention or advertisement of any product, service, or brand does not constitute endorsement, guarantee, or recommendation by The Dr. Spock Company. Please read our full Terms of Service.