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| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | val738 | DATE: 07/26/03 3:40pm | | SUBJECT: |  How to nicely tell a 3 year old that her father is a LOSER, when she asks why he doesnt call | | | Ok, first let me say that I have NEVER spoken badly of my daughter's father in front of her or so she could possibly hear.
Her father (Sam) and I split up 2 weeks before I found out I was preg. We were 18. He was HORRIBLE to me during my pregnancy and denied her. He didnt even sign her birth certificate (and he still wont). He gave me $100 a month when she was born, not much, but something. He requested a DNA test when she was 6 months old, of course it was positive, but the funny thing is, then he stopped paying me. I went and filed for child support and now he pays monthly (his wages are garnished). He calls once every 2 weeks or so and talks to her, and sees her once a month for only a few hours.
I am now married, have been for almost 5 months. We're expecting a baby in October. My husband (Bob) is her DADDY. He has been around since she was 1, and she calls him Daddy. I call her father her dad and my husband her daddy. Her father called the other day and she INSISTED on calling him by his first name.
We just moved from California to Illinois in June, due to my husband's job. Her father has only called once, a few days ago. We are in the process of slowly "weeding" him out? Eventually, my husband wants to adopt her. She has my maiden last name, and her father JUST consented to changing her last name to my married name. I have given him MANY options to see her, including that we would pay for transportation. I dont think he will do it at all.
My MAIN question. When she starts asking where her father is, what should I say? She said something the other day about Bob (my husband) isnt her daddy, that Sam is. I said, Bob loves you very much andis VERY good to you. He is your daddy. I didnt mention her father at all. Is this right? What should I have said? I always thought the "your father loves you but has other priorities" was good, but Im starting to feel that I shouldnt say that (I havent yet). Im so sorry this is so long.. Ive just never really talked to anyone about this. Thank you so much for your advice... | |  | |
| | | | | | MESSAGES | | | | | val738 | | 07/26/03 03:40pm | | | | thwarted | | 07/28/03 08:21am | | | | Rhi'sDragonMom | | 08/12/03 08:59am | | | | thwarted | | 08/26/03 09:06am | | | | thwarted | | 08/26/03 09:07am | | | | fef99 | | 08/12/03 01:28pm | | | | JudyDH | | 08/26/03 07:03pm | | | | IansMama | | 10/24/03 12:42pm | |  PREVIOUS DISCUSSION | NEXT DISCUSSION  |
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