 | Hi,
I'm seeking advise on how to handle a situation with my son. Sean has had some behavioral problems ever since he started going to kindergarten. He's basically the kind of kid who can't sit still in a group, he's easily over stimulated and has trouble controlling his impulsive behavior. This makes it very difficult for him to get along well in activities like school or summer camp. We've been very fortunate in that the school he attends has great teachers who are willing to work with him to find strategies to help him control himself and remain focused and not be a disruption to the other kids in the class. According to all the reports we had from school last year, Sean had been making steady improvements all year. Now to be clear, Sean doesn't appear to have any other learning disabilities, he is very bright, even academically gifted (he was reading simple words before he was 4 and now reads at about 4th or 5th grade level) and in a one on one situation, it's really not too difficult to keep a rein on his hyperactive tendencies.
But it was another story when we sent him to summer camp this year. We picked a small private camp run by a local "independent" school that preaches "plenty of individual attention" for students, and bases their philosophy on "the work of Howard Gardner, whose theories of Multiple Intelligences lie at the heard of the Independent School's mission and philosophy." This seemed to be the perfect choice for us to keep Sean involved in a supportive, structured environment that help him maintain the positive behavioral trends we'd been experiencing at school. Unfortunately it didn't seem to work out as we planned.
We sent Sean to one week of camp (one based on the Harry Potter books that he loves) He was very excited and motivated and we explained to him clearly before hand, what was expected of him if he wanted to attend the camp. The week passed with Sean coming home happy and excited. The only feedback we had from camp was when my wife approached one of the counselors on Monday, to ask how things had gone. She was told there were no major problems. Then on Friday, the last day of camp. We were told that the camp director wanted to speak to us. We then received a report on own son that was totally unexpected. We were told that Sean had been too much for them to handle all week. That he hadn't listened to directions and had required too much direct supervision from counselors. (not completely unexpected, but they had been informed of Sean's behavioral needs and he had attended the same camp the year before) We were even told that he had hit and kicked another child (although, there were such differing accounts of this incident that it left it unclear exactly what had happened). Sean has never been known to be a hitter before. We were also asked if Sean was on any ADHD meds and if he were taking a break from them for the summer.
We were very surprised and upset by the tone of the meeting and the fact that there had been no prior indication all week that there was any serious behavioral problem.
But now, we're considering what we should do with Sean. He had been making good progress in school. But in a less structured setting it seems he still doesn't have enough self control to be able supervise himself and be part of a group.
He was scheduled to go to 2 more weeks of camp (an outdoor camp this time run by the same people) but we've withdrawn him. We are setting up a new, more structured daily routine for him at home with specific times for specific tasks and less TV and computer time.
But what's next? His teachers have never suggested he be medicated and I resist the idea strongly. Should we simply continue to work with his teachers and only allow him to participate in activities where he can have close supervision?
Thanks, for any advice and thanks for letting me vent. |
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