 | This is backbone to the story: My older brother (by 16 months) and I have had a rather abusive father since I could remember. When my parent’s got a divorce when I was six, my father was really active in my life. But, my brother kept talking about him like he was the greatest person alive. When the fact is, next to my mother, my brother got the most verbal and physical abuse from my father.
My brother always insulted me, and I have had depression since the time I was nine years old and I will be 14 in August. Whenever I did the slightest thing wrong, my brother was always there to criticize me. My mother always told us to knock it off, but never did a thing about it. My brother also resorts to physical abuse such as bear hugging me, jumping on me, hitting me. And he knows darn well that I am not very strong and bruise quite easily. My brother also says negative things about my physical appearance that makes me feel downright ugly, as well as making me fell like an idiot.
I'm not the only one who receives this abuse, he gives the same verbal abuse to my mother, my mother's boyfriend who has moved in with us a year ago, and my brother's own girlfriend who suffers with emotional disorders. I've also heard my brother tell lies about my mother, her boyfriend, and myself. I've received so many weird stares from his friends. He also says how suicidal I am. That is true, the beginning of the year, I talked about suicide, but now I am on medication, and went to a physiologist. And yet, he keeps bringing up the past. I've also heard him comment on how great my father is, and lie about the fact his existence is pitiful, but instead he makes him someone who he probably wishes was his ideal father figure.
My brother also needs to be in control. Here are a few examples on what he did quite recently. He changed the desktop to wet cats, and he knows I don't like it when someone hurts any animal, especially a cat; my favorite animal. He also demands certain things from all members of the family. Such as getting what he wants when he wants it. He also demanded me to let him use my backpack for his summer school, and he constantly steals stuff from me, and doesn't return them. From the time I started writing this, he has kicked me off the computer three times, claiming "I use it too much." He is also completly oblivious to my fustration, and often times says I'm weak or nuts. He also never acknowledges his faults. So many are fed up with him saying he is like my father.
I am so sick of him treating everyone like trash, and him acting like he's the best/sanest/smartest of everyone. What should I do? I think I'm starting to lose my mind, if I haven't already. |
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