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| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | jltddt | DATE: 06/23/03 9:24am | | SUBJECT: |  DESPERATE FOR ADVICE AND SUPPORT | | | I'm not really sure where to start. My husband and I have been together for about 9 years and have two wonderful children together. About a year before we started dating my husband had a brief relationship with this woman, whom at the time had just gotten seperated from her husband. Not to long into the relationship she told my husband she was pregnant. She went to the doctors and based on all the dates she told my husband she was 150% sure this was her husbands baby. She said there was no way it could be my husbands the dates were just too far off. She broke things off with him and went back to her marriage to try to reconcile. My husband and I started dating shortly after and ended up getting married a few years later.
Now, a little over a week ago my husband runs into the woman at a gas station. She tells him that she thinks that her now 9 and a half year old daughter might be his. When she was born she was several weeks late and thinks her dates were wrong. She says her daughter looks a lot like my husband, and her daughter has blue eyes like my husband, her and her Ex-husband have brown.
First let me say I am really upset. This woman has known both my husband and I for 10+ years, we run into her maybe once every 6 months or so. We have all lived in the same area for the past 10 years. My point is she has had ample opportunity to tell us. For the past 9 years she has raised this girl as, her now, Ex-husbands' daughter. She has been in and out of drug rehab, is in a now abusive relationship in which she wants out. Her daughter has been taken away from her twice. Her Ex-husband is now refusing to pay child support and wants to contest paternity, but according to her, he refuses to take a paternity test or pay for one. She said she waited this long because she did not want to start any trouble in my husbands life, but now realizes her daughter needs a better father than her Ex-husband can be.
My husband and I are concerned about her motives, we are just not sure they are genuine. We are very upset she has waited 9 years to come forward and we/he has missed out on that time with his possible daughter. In an effort to try to get some kind of answers we did a cheek swab DNA test Friday of last week. We will not get the results until July 1st, but hopefully sooner.
Right now, not knowing is killing both of us. I can't wait until we know for sure. And then we are faced with when we do find out, if she is his how do we handle that. How do you develop a relationship with a child that is yours but you don't even know? How would I explain this to our children? Why or How could someone be so selfish and keep this from the potential father to their child? She said her daughter has not really had a father in her life. Her Ex-husband has been in and out of jail and when he is out he never wants to see her. We are worried about what kind of life this child might have had so far.
Any advice or comments are appreciated. I just really needed to vent, cry, scream.....ughhh...I dunno............. | |  | |
| | | | | | MESSAGES | | | | | jltddt | | 06/23/03 09:24am | | | | sofia'smom | | 06/25/03 08:41pm | | | | round | | 06/26/03 12:58pm | | | | jltddt | | 06/27/03 08:41am | | | | round | | 06/27/03 08:59am | | | | BillyR | | 12/19/03 07:06pm | |  PREVIOUS DISCUSSION | NEXT DISCUSSION  |
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