   
| | | | | | | | Family & Issues | Raising One or More | | BACK TO: Raising One or More | 
| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | grapepudding | DATE: 05/22/03 8:05pm | | SUBJECT: |  ADVICE NEEDED URGENTLY ... I want one more, he doesn't | | | Hi,
I am a 35 year old mother of one boy who will turn 6 in June. I will turn 36 next December. I feel that time is ticking away, and I want to bear another child in my lifetime. I only have a few more years to do it. My partner, who is 26 years old, doesn't want another child, and says he "doesn't know" if he will ever want another one. He thinks it is too hard to raise a child, too expensive, and he is content with our son. He doesn't want to "start all over."
I fully realize the work and cost involved. It will disrupt my life trememdously to have another child. I will be under more stress than I am now, working 60 hours a week with my son in full time day care, and taking an internet graduate class every semester. But I need to consider what is important in life. If I do not have another child in the next few years, there goes my chance. And I do want to be a mother again.
I am just sick over this. My partner and I plan to stay together "forever" ... and he thinks I should sacrifice my wants for the sake of our relationship. If HE doesn't want another child, I shouldn't force the issue. In my experience, everything is always ABOUT HIM. I am sick of sacrificing for him. It doesn't seem as if he sacrifices half as much for me. I am the giver in the relationship and he is the taker, and I am sick of it. I am the proactive one, and he is the passive one. I am sick of that, too.
If I do have another, I know darn well I will do most of the work (AGAIN) and be resentful.
In all cases, I will be resentful toward him.
I just don't know what to do. Should I leave him because I want another child? Find someone else to have a child with? Try to talk him into it? Try to better my career and life so I can single-handedly support another child so he won't be worried about money?
I have put 6-7 years of my life into this relationship and do love him. I don't want to throw everything away because of this problem. But I don't want to sacrifice my dream of having another child for him, either. I hate the thought of sacrificing anything for a man.
Please - I need some advice. This problem is tearing me apart and keeping me up at night.
Thanks,
Jen | |  | |
| | | | | | MESSAGES | | | | | grapepudding | | 05/22/03 08:05pm | | | | Flowermom | | 06/24/03 06:22am | | | | physo18 | | 06/26/03 11:13am | | | | Mommy2My 2Boys | | 06/27/03 10:05pm | | | | :-D:-D | | 08/08/03 07:03am | | | | :-D:-D | | 08/08/03 06:48am | | | | trekkiewithspecs | | 08/19/03 11:41pm | | | | :-D:-D | | 08/20/03 06:39am | |  PREVIOUS DISCUSSION | NEXT DISCUSSION  |
| | 
|
