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| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | kaekae | DATE: 05/13/03 4:44am | | SUBJECT: |  Alone, pregnant, and no support | | | Sorry this is kinda long but I need to vent,because I have noone I can talk with.I have been with my bf for 2 years. At first everything was great and I thought he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Later down the road I started to notice some changes in him and became a little uncomfortable with our relationship, but I stayed and hoped things would change. We started to have arguments and disagreements and he would pack his things and leave, only to come back a week later. He has done this 3 times since 9/02, and this last time 3/03 he hasn't tried to come back or want to work this out even knowing that I am pregnant.Prior to this last breakup in 3/03, it seemed he was always causing arguments, making me upset, and showed no interest in me hoping that would make me say, this is it and I couldn't take it any more, so he would have his reason to leave. I just was thinking way is he doing this to me? Is it because he don't want the responsibility of a child, or is he having an affair? He always puts me a fault of our troubled relationship, when its him that was doing all the wrongdoings. Now I am 9 weeks pregnant and very, very, miserable. I have built my whole life around him and now I'm alone and have noone. I only have my immediate family, and that is very small, and they are so judgemental I cannot talk to any of them without them making me feel even worse, so I just avoid that situation in order to have a peace of mind.I have no friends to talk to because I surrounded my whole life around my ex and my 2 other children. I find myself deeply depressed, cant eat, cant sleep, crying constantly, and unable to focus on anything. My ex calls maybe twice a week, and when I tried to explain what I'm going through that causes an argument and makes me feel even worse. I don't know why but I miss him so much and would just want him to be here for me and my child, but I can tell he dosent want this. He always giving me false hopes telling me he loves me, will call me back later, and he will take care of his child; but he never follows through which makes me hurt even worse. I have found myself waiting on him all day to call, and he won't. If I call him he's either never there or makes me feel I am bothering him so much and it makes me feel that I just keep running after him over and over again when in reality he does not want to be bothered, but sometimes I can't help but to call him. I wish I was strong enough whereas I can stop, but in turn I am feeling so humiliated, and its taking my self-respect and dignity.I have seeked some counseling so far, and my doctor had prescribed Wellbumin for depression, I am so confused I cannot think straight. I want to be with my ex for the sake of this child, or a least be on good terms with him but he seems to want nothing to do with me or the child. I cannot imagine going though 7 more months like this: heartbroken, devastated, alone, and no support. If you can offer any advice, it will be very much appreciated. Thanks for listening. | |  | |
| | | | | | MESSAGES | | | | | kaekae | | 05/13/03 04:44am | | | | KatherineM | | 05/14/03 04:25pm | | | | meesicle | | 05/17/03 07:11am | | | | 1stimerjitters | | 06/19/03 10:46pm | | | | DUE1/07 | | 07/23/03 01:25pm | |  PREVIOUS DISCUSSION | NEXT DISCUSSION  |
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