 | I am a mother of a 7 year old boy with autism, a two and a half year old and a 15 month old. After reading what you said I realized I had to respond. What you have said is exactly correct. Children need to be taught how to behave appropriatly, not just told what not to do. After about 12 months of age children learn that their behavior has a great influence on the way mommy and daddy behave and react to them. Throwing tantrums, screaming, and whaling are normal and very typical ways for toddlers to behave, especially when they realize that they get what they want!!! Parents often complain about tantrumming, though the irony is the parents are the ones responsible for them. A child screamming in a resturant will likely get whatever it is he/she is screaming for. Often all they want is a little attention. Parents who complain about their childrens behavior should evaluate how many positive interactions they have with their child in contrast to the negative ones. Its a sad statistic; typical families have 5 times as many more negative interactions than positive ones. The next time you see your child sharing, playing nicely, asking for something nicely, or just being pleasant, give him/her a high five, tell him/her how happy it makes you. Appreciate the positives, set firm boundaries (stick to them) and ignore the age typical, junk type, annoying behaviors your children exhibit. Children are young people, they have needs, wants, and feelings. The diffeence between us and them is that they haven't learned how to behave civily, and they often don't know how to communicate fast enough, or in a socially exceptable way. TEACH your children how to behave appropriatly, dont just tell them how to NOT behave. Children are never BAD!!!! They are all GOOD!!!! They need guidance, love, and lots of loving attention. Praise your babies, one day you may regret the damage done by not showing them and telling them that you are proud of them. If you don't show and tell them, they will find someone else who will!!!
Think about it!! They need to learn how you would like them to behave, it takes time, patience, and understanding. (a parenting skills class wouldn't hurt either!!) |
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