Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

November 08, 2009

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AUTHOR:

gh1015

DATE: 03/21/03 10:37am

SUBJECT:

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

IN REPLY TO: Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP
AUTHOR: kayakman

While I am not dealing with anything as tough as your girlfriends daughter is, my 9 1/2 year old daughter also voices her opinion that she is uncomfortable with Mom being affectionate with my boyfriend of 5 months around her.

I think your girlfriend definitely has to take control of the situation and let her daughter know that it is unacceptable to behave the way she is behaving. She should take time out for just the two of them to do fun things together, and she should keep communication open. My daughter and I have our alone time where no one can interrupt it, and in fact we make a scheduled time for it. This assures my daughter that she without question she gets Mom's undivided attention. At the same time, I let her know ahead of time when we are planning an outing with my boyfriend or when he is coming to our house and we talk about things up front. My daughter seems better adjusted when things do not surprise her.

Before I brought my boyfriend around her she and I talked about Mom being affectionate with another person and I encouraged her to voice her concerns then.

The trick is to make the child still feel like a part of Mom's life while teaching her that she cannot control every aspect of Mom's life. Instead of trying to coax her daughter into activities with the two of you, try getting her involved in more one on one time with Mom first. Keep that in place then introduce time for the three of you. A child's natural reaction is to get rid of the new person in their parent's life. How the adults deal with it can make or break the situation.

MESSAGES

ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

kayakman

02/21/02 10:49am

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

Marichka

03/08/02 05:54pm

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

Gail

04/09/02 05:35am

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

Gail

04/09/02 05:37am

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

kayakman

04/10/02 11:46pm

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

Gail

04/11/02 04:58am

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

kayakman

04/12/02 12:06am

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

Gail

04/12/02 09:03am

Re: ELEVEN YEAR OLD ANGRY ABOUT MOMS NEW RELATIONSHIP

gh1015

03/21/03 10:37am

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