 | Dear Stefania,
I am also single and pregnant and in a similar situation. I found out I was pregnant with my boyfriend's baby days after I broke up with him. We had been together for a year, and our relationship was going nowhere fast. Upon telling him that I was pregnant, we both decided termination would be the best choice, but on the day of the appointment I could not bring myself to go through with it. The rest they say is history. We decided to try to stay together, but the pregnancy has caused an even greater strain on the both of us, as he never wanted to have children and I have growing expectations of him that he is not ready to fulfill.
On top of this, I too was taking medication for depression and had stopped when I found out I was pregnant. Stopping the medication, along with the stress of the situation and lack of support from him caused me to once again become depressed and unhappy. I did learn after speaking with my doctor that I could be put on a different, safer medication and it has helped quite a bit. I would definitely speak to your doctor about it, because you're right...it's not healthy to feel depressed and helpless while you are carrying your baby. It could lead to a number of greater risks for your baby than the risk of taking a safe antidepressent would/could pose.
I know how you feel to be alone. My boyfriend and I have since broken up and all of my dreams of having a traditional family are gone. It has been hard to give up that dream, but I now realize that when I feel sad, lonely, and heartbroken over the loss of him and my dream, I I am so, so far from being alone. I've got this beautiful little baby growing inside me, apart of my life and with me every single second of the day. I've got to put my sadness and loneliness secondary to my baby - he/she is so much more important than that.
Truth be told, it is the hardest thing I've ever had to face. I've broken down many times and I won't be surprised if I do again. But a funny thing happened after the last time I broke down. I was at my absolute lowest - felt like I was doomed and hopeless. But after I broke, eventually, I had to start to pick up the pieces, and somehow I felt a strange, quiet strength building inside me. I don't know if you are religious or not. I personally am not, but I find myself praying to God, and it has truly helped me just to believe in something greater than myself.
Look, I am the one who's going on forever. Sometimes that is just what we need. So whatever you need to express and vent about, do it. I'm listening.
Jaclyn |
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