 | My boyfriend, who lives with me and my 6 year old daughter, was severely abused as a child. As a result, all he can think is "children are evil" and he wants to be violent and mean to my daughter. At first he hid it very well. Now, he is letting it hang out. He yells and says he hates her to her face, picks on her for just being alive, and he is just starting to become this way towards me. I told him to get out of my house (I own it, have owned it for 5 years... he was living with friends when he moved in with me... long story) but he told me in tears and with pleading... that he would change. He promised he would "try" to like my daughter, and he was going to try to be some sort of father to her. She is not a monster; she is very good and loveable, if you ask me. He says I'm blind and not mean enough to her. He says she needs major discipline. I think he is the one who needs to grow up and grow a brain.
He had a record expunged when he was 21 (he's 29 now) of assault/battery. He beat some guy unconscious because the guy looked at his girlfriend. He doesn't like to go out, would rather stay home on the couch. He's lazy, boring, immature and very selfish. And a terrible role model for my child, since he flat out hates children. I did not know all of this when he moved in - the first few months, we had fun and he was very loving! He was promising love and protection and adoration. I know I did wrong by letting him move into MY home, which is why a week ago, I told him to get OUT. But he wouldn't. He said through the tears that he would love us both.
Then last night, he yelled at both of us, because Daughter got snow on his leather seat of his car. He yelled that I have brought her up all wrong because she thinks she can put her feet anywhere. He yelled at ME because I didn't make her go out in the 12 degree cold, to scrub and polish his leather back seats of the car! I don't yell, so I told him calmly to go clean it himself. I'm not making my 6 y.o. girl go outside in the cold to remove snow from his car. Today, we have a snowstorm, and it is up to 4 inches. His car will get snow in it today from me (my car is in the shop) and I'm wondering how he will handle that. I told him last night that I won't let her in his car any more. I also told him that when I have snow on MY feet, I won't get into his car (his car is not worth near what mine is, yet I don't complain about snow).
My question is... how do I get him out. Do I need the police? He admits that all that anger and violence his father showed him is how he thinks children should be raised. he swears he's never hit a woman, yet when I told him if he ever hit my Daughter I would beat the life out of him, he said, "well you'd not even get one swing in, I'd knock you out". He thinks that kids need to be beat, by belts or wires, and that they shouldn't be allowed to speak or play or even exist. He truly hates my daughter. I swear to you I tried to get him out but he would not go. I could kick myself for letting this nutcase into my home (and my life).
It's my home and I don't want to abandon it. I just want him gone, yet every time i tell him, he breaks down and cries and says he will change. In all honesty I'm sick of him and I know that he cannot change - people do not change - especially when they have all that anger under the surface.
Are there any women out there who made the mistake of letting a child-hating, abused boyfriend into their lives? And, how did you get him out, without him harming your child or you?
I've been divorced since Daughter was 3 months old. We 'had' a really good life, just the two of us. So I have zero fear of being alone, being alone (well, alone with Daughter) was heaven compared to the cr@p I'm dealing with every day with this monster. |
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