 | A few weeks ago, our six year old daughter stayed over at her big sister's house (her sister is 24). Her sister's stepdaughter, who is 7, was also staying over. After the adults went to bed, the 7 year old told our daughter that she had a good movie they could watch. She went to the video cabinet and got an x-rated movie and put it in. The 7 year old daughter told our daughter not to tell anyone they watched it. They claim to have watched half of it. The next day, when we picked up our daughter she told us what they watched. Her sister (who is my stepdaughter) found the tape and she and her husband insist the tape was hidden in their bedroom, not out on the shelf where the 7 year old found it. In the past, the seven year old has snooped in our bedroom and found sexual material that we make a point to keep in a safe, discreet place away from little eyes (I refused to allow my step-children to watch R rated movies in our home til they were over 13, so I am ultra-careful about those things), so this is not the first time she has done something like this.
Yesterday, our daughter went over to my stepdaughter's for a few hours. My son-in-law went into the bedroom and found my daughter with her pants down and squatting over their five year old son's face. When we asked her why she did it, she said she learned it from the movie. I sat her down and explained that those things were something adults do and she should never ever do those things with other kids and she shouldn't talk about them with other kids. If she has questions about what she saw, she should ask Mommy or Daddy.
My concern now is for the 7 year old. She lives with her mother and has, in the past, told my stepdaughter and her husband (her natural father) that her mother's boyfriend had been "messing" with her (she was four or five at the time). She was caught a year or so ago performing a sex act on her little brother. A week after the incident with the x-rated movie, my stepdaughter walked into the bedroom to find the 7 year old and her son with Barbie and Ken naked and Ken on top of Barbie in a compromising position.
Before the incident yesterday, I expressed concerns that the 7 year old was showing way too much knowledge about sex at her age (one of her favorite movies is "Coyote Ugly, which I feel is terribly inappropriate for a 7 year old to watch). Yesterday, I was frantic about what my daughter had done, but after reading the messages on here, I feel a little better. I realize now I need to sit my daughter down and have a more realistic discussion about what she saw (obviously, you can't unring a bell, so responses suggesting censorship or not having sexually explicit materials in the house is beside the point now).
My question is, should I contact the 7 year old's school counselor and voice my concerns that the child may be being either sexually abused or exposed to sexual material on a regular basis? My stepdaughter claims they have contacted social services about their concerns (and actually filed a formal complaint when the child said her mother's boyfriend was messing with her and they interviewed the child with the boyfriend in the room) but nothing has been done. I told my husband yesterday that I didn't want our daughter around the 7 year old until they dealt with this problem, but he says with adult supervision there shouldn't be any reason for that. I have informed my daughter that she cannot take a bath with her nephew anymore and that the bedroom doors are not allowed to be shut anymore. She agreed.
Does anyone have any advice for me? I'd really love to hear from a counselor or pediatrician. I don't want to jump the gun if the 7 year old is just acting curious and drag someone's name through the mud. I would give my name to the school counselor because I am concerned. Help! |
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