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| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | mommabink | DATE: 12/17/02 11:46am | | SUBJECT: |  9 year old sexually curious, lying & stealing | | | I have an almost 9 year old son who has been exhibiting some strange and scary behavior and I'm really beginning to worry. He's had some behavioral problems in school - being disruptive, tries to be the class clown, etc. He's always been high strung and we've had him evaluated for ADHD but it's borderline. He's also an incredibly bright child. However, in the past few months, he's been coming home with things - CD's, Yugio cards, just things that he says he's either found or someone gave him in exchange for Yugio cards, etc. We were notified by a neighbor kid last night that my son had stolen a Gameboy game and told them kid we (his parents) bought it for him. We never questioned the game because kids are always trading and sharing those things but I am really becoming afraid that there are underlying reasons for his behavior and I just want a child who is emotionally healthy. He's also been sexually curious and just a couple of weeks ago was caught under a bed at his grandparents house with his male cousin (10 years old) showing each other their privates and the story I get from the adult who caught them, they were kissing each other's privates. He also has a very hard time finding and keeping friends. He hasn't experienced anything really traumatic, in my opinion. Yes, there is a divorce - his father and I are VERY amicable and have tried to make this as EASY as possible on our children. Never bad mouthing, never exhibiting anger and even staying on the same page with discipline and being cordial at functions for our children. I am wondering if we have made it even MORE difficult for him by staying friends. Can it be that children are taught that divorce is suppose to be nasty and mean? Can it be that we've confused him SO much that he is deeply affected? Pleas do not lecture me on how I've damaged my child emotionally. I'm not looking for someone to make me feel even more guilty about my divorce because as most parents, we tend to blame things on ourselves as it is. I have remarried a WONDERFUL man who has bonded VERY well with my children and encourages my son in every area. He's been in our lives for 4 years so he's not a "new" fixture. He helps coach the little league, takes my son fishing and golfing, spends quality time with him. I also should share with you that this behavior has progressed since the birth of my last child, who is now 2. My almost 9 year old was very much a "mamma's boy" and I am thinking that a lot of his problems are from the fact that his is no longer the baby and was so coddled up until the birth of my last child. He still cuddles up with me and still requires an awful lot of attention, which we try and give to him but at what point should we sit down and say "Look, you're NOT the only child here and your behavior isn't appropriate?" Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
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