 | My last comment offended you and another person and I apologize. My comment said, "For those of you who lose control". My definition of losing control is to hit, belittle, or abuse their toddlers. There's some mothers talking about hitting their toddlers with objects and some that are calling their toddlers names like, "idiot". I don't agree with that and think if a parent is doing it, they need parenting classes. I'm sure you'd agree.
My 12 year old bit me about 3 times. I tried the "slowly applying pressure" method on her twice and it worked. She didn't throw as many fits as my second child. She was more mild tempered. She had her phases though that were occasionally trying. She went through the stubborn stage, the testing mommy stage, the crying about everything stage, afraid of everything stage, the "I do it" stage, the "it has to be my way" and the whining stage. They all go through those stages.
My 2nd daughter threw daily fits. She wasn't even aware of what she was doing. She'd bang her head against stuff, hit, kick, try to bite and scream. She was in rage and nothing would comfort her. The best solution for her is to let her work it out. She usually fell asleep afterward. I tried ice-cream, back rubs, baths, everything!!! Nothing would work. I felt more sorry for her than me because I didn't know what was making her so mad. She rarely throws fits now that she can pretty much communicate. I did the "slowly applying pressure" lesson with her too and it worked again. When she hit me in the face I would immediately start wiping at her face and it bothered her. I kept saying, "well don't hit mommy then". She's 18 months old now and never hits. She never bites. She still screams at me though and I haven't figured out that one yet. She gets so mad! She kept screaming at me one day and finally I said, "show me" and she led me into her room and pointed at her pillow. I picked up her pillow put it on the couch and she was fine.
I've been there, I'm going through it now and more than twice a month. I've been irritated but not to the point that I would scream at my baby or strike her. I'm so glad I have the patience and understanding I do!!!
I'm glad you found some of my advice helpful!
For the biting....
Immediately after your child bites you, tell him that he hurt you in his words. Say "ouch! That hurt mommy. I'll show you" and then take his little arm and start to gently and very slowly apply pressure with your teeth until he starts to look uncomfortable and then stop. Don't do it to the point where he's crying, just a little whining and then stop. Then say, "see, you don't like when mommy bites you, so don't bite mommy." After a couple of times he'll learn.
As far as banging on the door....I hope your not closing him in a room or anything. That's so scary! Remember being a small child and how scary it was to be alone? Also, I think that if a child doesn't want to eat, don't force it. All pediatricians say that as long as you provide healthy food for them when they do chose to eat they will be fine. A child will eat when they need to. Forcing a child to eat has been proven to cause obesity, anxiety and other problems. Talk with your pediatrician.
Good luck! |
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