 | Hi there. Sorry to hear of your situation. It sounds like with having a new baby, you don't have much time to spend with your other children. You mention your oldest son is not taking this too well. He is the oldest and was first to have all your attention. It is common after having a new baby for the others, especially the first born, to feel jealous. I don't know if he is jealous, but it is possible. I think maybe you should find some time, and a sitter for the younger three, to take your oldest son out for the day. Relax and spend the whole day and evening with your son. Do things together, talk about your relationship, try to have patience if he becomes rambunctious, he is a child and will always have more energy than you are willing to deal with. I feel this way with my only son, my only child. I grew up with three sisters and know what it's like to compete for the parents attention and to more liked than the other sisters. It is natural for your son to feel left out, just don't leave him out of your life. Spend time together and make some ground rules for your relationship, come up with an understanding between you two. Spoil him on his special day with you but also remind him he has to share you with the others and it wouldn't be fair for him to have all the attention. Maybe you can include him with taking care of your baby. He can help hold him, feed him when it's not breast milk, unless it's in a bottle, help change diapers, sing to the baby, etc. There are a lot of things your son can help you with in taking care of your baby. This can show him to care and understand things from another point of view. Maybe including him in activities such as this, will calm him down a little and teach him some reasoning skills. Just because a child is hyper and rambunctious doesn't mean he is adhd or add, it just means he or she is an active youngster who wants attention and affection. We as parents need to realize the needs of children and not think of them as the little annoying things they can be. They are young, active, energetic, always wanting to know everything, and mischievous. We are old, getting older, losing our energy and wits, and looking for a way to make things easier on ourselves while trying to run away from the world. Good Luck with your family and your new baby. Remember, take a deep breath and try to remember what it was like for you as a child and try to keep that in mind when dealing with your own children. |
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