Re: 13 year old son out of control

March 20, 2010

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AUTHOR:

sebastian

DATE: 07/25/02 6:08pm

SUBJECT:

Re: 13 year old son out of control

IN REPLY TO: 13 year old son out of control
AUTHOR: jamaslanka

Is your son on medication for his ADHD? Who was the diagnostician? Without knowing a whole ton of details I would suggest that your son is a normal kid who has hit puberty and is looking for boundaries. You do not mention a father or male figure in the household. If there isn't one then your son, as the oldest male, is going through a conflict between a parental role and the role of a child. Does he know what is expected of him? In many cases we assume that our kids know instinctively what they are and are not supposed to do. In most cases they need some guidance. You sound as if you have your hands full at home between your grandmother and your own children. My guess is that the car accident plays a small part in what you are going through but it isn't the major issue. If you are the provider, breadwinner and BIG CHEESE of the household then your son would have suddenly seen the one mentor/role model/strength he has looking very vulnerable, that would have scared him. By distancing himself somewhat from you he protects himself from heartbreak. On top of that you have the issue that of all your children he will be the hardest to find time for (in his opinion) because he is expected to be grown up. You have a tough job on your hands and I applaud you for trying. I suggest that the first thing you do is to try and set aside some time that you and he can be alone. I know that souns impossible - but maybe there's a friend/neighbor/realtive who could take responsibility for all of the others for an evening. When you get him alone you need to ask him for his help to do what you do. Don't berate him for being Out Of Control. Don't ask him for reasons - because he won't be able to give them. Just ask for his help. In return you need to be able to offer him some kind of quality time that you two can spend together once a week, once a month, something constant. Make sure you recognize his accomplishments and not his flaws. He needs a supporter so that he can be one for you.
I hope this helps - I'll check to see.

MESSAGES

13 year old son out of control

jamaslanka

07/22/02 01:39am

Re: 13 year old son out of control

sebastian

07/25/02 06:08pm

Re: 13 year old son out of control

MOM OF BIPOLER

11/12/02 05:34am

Re: 13 year old son out of control

fed up

04/21/03 10:18am

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