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| Toddler & Preschool | Toilet Training |
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| AUTHOR: | sycamore631 | DATE: 06/10/02 6:56pm |
| SUBJECT: |  Re: 4 year old refuses to poop in potty HELP!!! |
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IN REPLY TO: Re: 4 year old refuses to poop in potty HELP!!!
AUTHOR: cizweb |
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| Cizweb - First of all, a great big {{{HUG}}} for you. I'm so sorry for what you are having to go through with your son. I'm sure when he was first born you could never have imagined that toilet training him would be so hard.
It must be very difficult for you to receive unsolicited advice from people who think they know it all. Unfortunately, when any child is having problems, people always look at the parent and think they must be doing something wrong. People need to realize (and this is something I've had to realize about my daughter) that children are totally separate people from their parents. We can work with our children on many different skills, but sometimes our kids are going to do their own thing no matter how hard us parents try.
I posted on 6/2 and was one of the people who advised that kids should clean up after themselves. The rationale behind that was kids do not like being away from their playtime and would not like cleaning up their poop. However, some kids are "poop painters" (a term I heard from a friend of mine who worked for years in daycare) and actually enjoy playing with poop. If a child loves playing with poop, then cleaning up after themselves will probably backfire.
As for the child psychologist - I say go for it. My daughter was traumatized by an automatic flushing toilet and refused to use any toilet, including the one at home. She would only use little potty chairs. It took me 1 1/2 months for me to get her to use our potty, and it was an idea that I just stumbled on. However, she was still fighting us a little whenever we asked her to go potty. She didn't like using toilets away from home. I was beginning to see a bad power struggle between us, and I knew that if I didn't do something fast, this could be a long, drawn-out problem. My daughter's doctor was concerned because her regression had lasted over two months (toileting regression should not last more than 2 weeks to a month) and he recommended a counselor to her. After the counselor talked to her for an hour, it was like a switch was flipped in her head! She has stopped fighting with us, and has started to use toilets outside of the house (including some public toilets). Needless to say, we are ecstatic over her progress. If I ever have a potty problem with my daughter again, I will not hesitate for a second to take her back to this counselor.
I've learned that all it takes is one little thing to cause a huge setback. If there is anyone who has been following this post who thinks that potty problems could never happen with their child--think again! It can happen to any child.
Good luck to everyone who has been having problems. Please keep us posted on any progress.
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