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| Toddler & Preschool | Toilet Training |
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| AUTHOR: | sycamore631 | DATE: 06/02/02 5:56pm |
| SUBJECT: |  Re: 4 year old refuses to poop in potty HELP!!! |
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IN REPLY TO: 4 year old refuses to poop in potty HELP!!!
AUTHOR: tbugsmom |
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| I've been following the posts to this message for a while. I wanted to say to everyone who is going through this that I am so sorry for what you're having to deal with. Potty training can be such a frustrating process. The bad part is that this is something that all children have to go through. There is no getting around it.
I started thinking about what I would do if my child started having problems with this. I'm no potty training expert and I hope that my suggestions don't sound too harsh, but this is my 2 cents.
I agree with what some posters said about leaving the issue alone for a couple of months and not making a big deal about it. However, I might take things up a notch. First, I would buy a great toy that the child has been wanting for a long time and put it on a shelf or on the counter in the bathroom. If the child asks about the toy, just say calmly that this is the toy they can have when they decide to poop on the potty. If it's a really big toy like a swing set or bike, put a picture somewhere in the bathroom. If the child throws a fit because they want the toy now, explain again what the toy is for then walk away. Next, I would turn over the entire poop responsibility to the child, including putting on the diaper or pull-up and cleaning up. If they use a diaper, show the child once or twice how to put it on. Then leave the diapers and wipes in the bathroom where the child can reach them. Tell the child that when they need to poop, it's up to them to take care of everything. If they get upset, say that since it's their choice to poop in the diaper, then it's their responsibility to handle the situation. Children this age aren't too young to understand that there are consequences for every decision they make. The steps would be a) go into the bathroom (child must stay in the bathroom to poop, not anywhere else in the house); b) put on the diaper/pull-up; c) when done pooping, put poop into toilet and clean up with wipes (there are flushable wipes on the market that make clean up easier); and d) throw away diaper/pull-up and put on fresh underwear. Tell them they have to stay in the bathroom until everything is done. The theory behind this is if the child has to do all the work and misses so much playtime, they are not going to like it and will want an easier way to do this (i.e. poop in the potty instead of a diaper).
If things don't start changing for the better in a couple of months, then I would seriously consider the counseling. My child started having some problems and we were heading into a real power struggle with her. I decided that something needed to be done to nip this in the bud before it became an ongoing problem, so I took her to a counselor. In one session, things have gone a bit better. If my child starts having problems again, I will not hesitate to take her back.
I hope I didn't come across as some kind of know-it-all, because I will be the first to admit I'm not. I just wanted to give some suggestions in hopes that someone could be helped. Good luck to all of you who are going through this. I hope things work out well soon. |
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| | tbugsmom | | 03/08/02 08:12pm |
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| | Cosmo | | 03/09/02 08:56am |
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| | tbugsmom | | 03/09/02 04:05pm |
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| | old mom | | 03/17/02 09:33pm |
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| | looking4answers | | 09/04/02 09:17am |
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| | tbugsmom | | 09/09/02 01:16pm |
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| | looking4answers | | 09/09/02 07:12pm |
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| | tbugsmom | | 09/12/02 01:01pm |
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| | Mommy_ToGo | | 02/03/03 06:22pm |
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| | poopiepotty | | 02/04/03 04:45pm |
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| | Mommy_ToGo | | 02/05/03 06:41am |
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| | tbugsmom | | 05/15/02 10:20pm |
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| | PAVLISCSAK | | 05/16/02 05:41pm |
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| | boysmom | | 06/22/02 08:22am |
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| | sycamore631 | | 06/10/02 06:56pm |
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| | 31798 | | 06/01/02 11:01am |
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| | sycamore631 | | 06/02/02 05:56pm |
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| | tbugsmom | | 06/17/02 11:50pm |
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| | KARENRENE | | 02/22/03 08:42pm |
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| | mom2paige | | 02/24/03 07:38pm |
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