 | These are not tantrums, they're night terrors. They're common in childhood and kids eventually outgrow them. My son has had night terrors since he was about a year old. He'll be four in June and had one last week. The previous time he had one was about four months ago. At around age two, he was averaging one or two a month. I have learned that if Eric has a stressful day or is overtired, he is at-risk for having one. They also usually happen about three hours after he falls asleep. These episodes are nearly more than I can stand but he never has any memory of them. I was scared to death the first time it happened but I now recognize what is going on - but it's no easier to handle. My son is a loving cuddly boy but in the midst of a terror, he screams, thrashes, kicks, and rejects all contact. He has even seemed awake to me with his eyes open but he is not awake. He is terrified, often screaming, "Mommy, help me" or "Mommy, where are you?" over and over. He is impossible to awaken, sometimes throws himself around his bed, has even gotten up and run into a wall. The longest terror lasted 40 minutes, now they're usually much shorter. If I'm close by when it starts, sometimes I can head it off by talking softly to him, but there's no guarantees that this will work. Most doctors suggest not waking up the child but I have done it if a terror is so awful that he or I can't stand it anymore. He absolutely cannot tolerate any direct physical contact and the screaming and thrashing will get worse if I try to comfort him this way. I just make sure he is safe and stay close by, talking softly. It seems to help him to tell him that he is safe, especially when he's calling for me, as if he's lost. The first time he did this, I was frightened because his eyes were wide open and he seemed to be looking right at me. I know now that even though he may seem awake, even answering questions, that he is not awake and does not have control of himself. These are not tantrums. PLEASE, do not spank your child or get angry because you think your child is awake and just having a tantrum - you will actually increase your child's terror. I made this mistake once. Try to stay calm. The terror will end and your child will go back to sleep. The nice thing (for the child!) is that they have no memory of the event, unlike a nightmare. Your child is not being a "brat" or acting out. These seem like tantrums but they are not. I can usually predict when Eric might have a terror. If he's had a hard day, I try to get him to bed a little early, have a nice bath, a calm story, etc. It doesn't always work but he's doing better so I think it does. Try not to get upset when they happen. I know it's hard. I have actually gone into the bathroom, taken a shower, and cried after he's gone back to sleep. They are that emotionally draining. We have 4 other children and Eric is the only one who has night terrors. I hope this helps. |
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