 | We have been together 7 months but know each other through church and her sister and husband for 12 years .I never knew her daughter except through us getting together and seeing some of the disipline problems mom was having about who was in control. I think you are right about her felling she has no control, but is trying to, by using her unwillingness to mind her mom when i am around, as if to say ( if you make him go away i will be good agine! this makes mom upset and she tries no tv or not being able to be with her sisters daughter, who she is good friends with, if she is still not behaving, mom gets angry and threatins to spank her, wich seems to work but leaves mom felling badly about having to go to that level, and the rest of are time together somewhat strained .I know the x is telling her when he has her for his weekend, he wants to come back to the relationship and try to make it work, wich makes me seem like the bad guy even though mom has told her she dosn't want to go back with him. (thay have been divorced one year) .She treats me rudly and tells me to go home or hangs up the phone if i call (this seems like behavior she has learned in some movie she has watched about how to get the boy friend to quit comming around). We have talked to her about her fellings concerning me, and us getting married, she says she dosn't like me or that idea!! of course i know she means to say, that i represent a threat to her for moms love and attention . She also wants mom to not have any relationships until she is out of the house!! We take her with us on trips to the snow or shopping and drives along the beach to get her to interact with us. We even let her set between use when we are watching a movie or tv because she hates to see use holding hands or hugging, but this can sometimes be a problem if she thinks she can disrupt the day with her bad attitude, leaving us felling drained. My girlfriend says it will just take time for her to get use to me, and i am thinking she is right, that there are no quick fixes in this type of relationship, thank you for your input, hope to hear back from you soon. |
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